I put the fuck in the “I don’t give a fuck!”

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We had the opportunity to talk with Biohazard’s main man, hardcore-extraordinaire, Evan Seinfeld. And oh boy, has he kept busy. Not only is Biohazard in the process of putting out a new album, Seinfeld himself is still preaching hardcore on film with some of the hottest chicks in all adult entertainment. Unfortunately our discussion with Evan was shadowed by the sudden death of his good friend, icon and a fellow Brooklynite, Peter Steele. But ultimately, as it became evident with talking to Evan, life will triumph. No doubt about it. Plus, we present you pussies with the largest collection of Not Safe for Work links in Teeth of the Divine’s history.

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Since you and The Spyderz are pretty much all involved with other adult entertainers, how does one keep the relationships alive and kicking amidst all the fucking?

How do you keep a good relationship? Find a girl who appreciates you for who you are. A guy. Period. Most women ask us to be someone who we are not. Monogamous. My chick and I fuck hundreds of girls together, I fuck any girl I want and so does she. She believes that other dudes are bad for the relationship. I agree. For me girls are just for sex or friendship… I’m TOTALLY in LOVE with Lupe, it is so different and she knows it. My ex, Tera [Patrick], could not handle it at all. Way too insecure. Most guys, metal or not, could not handle being with girl in the business, in any fashion. One thing’s for sure. Porn chicks love guys in bands. Are you in a band? Is that why you are asking? [laughs]

Uh oh. So can we expect a reality show from you?

Working on a few of them for sure, but hopefully no silly content shows.

You’re also starting to make face in the movies?

I have a part coming up in a big mainstream movie called Standoff. Not sure who else is in it, but I heard rumors of Forest Whitaker, Gerard Butler, Ed Harris and more. I will play a hitman… what a stretch!

How’s the acting?

I go to auditions regularly and study acting with a coach. I love the challenge of stepping outside of yourself and being another character. Through, as an artist, I love to be challenged to do new things.

What show would you love to appear in, no matter what?

I would love to be a recurring character in The Family Guy. Like… the white trash biker neighbor on Spooner Street. I could deal speed out of my house, do some underground tattooing and impregnate high school girls. Yeah!

Speaking of bikers, both you and Jerry Seinfeld appeared in Oz. How did you land that gig?

Dean Winters [O’Reilly], Chris Maloney and Lee Tergesen came to see Biohazard and the Insane Clown Posse at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC. This was set up by my old A and R guy Monte at Roadrunner Records. He knew I was a huge fan of Oz and his wife was those guys attorney. They took me to meet Tom Fontana after a long night of afterhours in bars and after show parties, and the rest is history. I was on 40 of the about 56 episodes in the show’s history. It was a great experience and so exciting every day. Jerry Seinfeld, who’s actually my second cousin, did a Saturday Night Live sketch which was hilarious

When can we expect a Saturday Night Live appearance from you or Biohazard?

Probably never. As much as I would love to, there would have to be something big in our career, like a hit song or something… imagine that. We played on David Letterman once as a favor to Linkin Park. We sat in for them with Xzibit as they were double booked on Letterman and Download Festival. That must suck [laughs]

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  1. Commented by: Storm King

    Reading this interview, I get the sense that this guy has sex with porn stars. Is it just me?

  2. Commented by: Apollyon

    Hmmm… Naaaaah. I think it might be just you.


  3. Commented by: MiHuevoenTuPoto

    Biohazard sucks so bad it is not even funny…

  4. Commented by: faust666

    Biohazard might just be the worst band ever and Evan might just be the biggest douchebag ever.

  5. Commented by: Marco

    Great Band it was with Evan, now without him still good but not like it was before. I still like em though, just watched them live..

    Evan made everything right..career/big dollars with a band and now he bangs the hottest girls today.

    A career one could envy…;)


  6. Commented by: Erik T

    My boss from my last job had his pilots license and flew Evan and Tera around for a bit.

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