Imagine your average by the numbers 8th generation Gothenberg band and combine them with vocals that alternate between Speed Strid and really weak clean singing. Combine this with lyrics that Poison wouldn’t have been able to pull off with a straight face and the keyboards of Children of Bodom at their worst and you have something that is almost totally unlistenable. I knew I was in trouble when I saw the band name; it is rarely a good sign when a band name is also a complete sentence.

These guys like to chug a lot, in order to try and pass for heavy, however I see through their game quite easily. The song “Move Your Body” is the apex of awful as it had death growls, hand claps, techno beats and good Swedish shredding. The word clusterfuck doesn’t do this justice. Honestly guys just pick a game plan. Are you a mediocre melodic death metal band or are you glam rock? Stop trying to combine the two, it only agitates me, and not in a good way. Perhaps the best way to describe this would be The Darkness trying to make a numetal album. However the vocals are utterly unmemorable unlike The Darkness who you can’t forget no matter how many Newcastles you down in the attempt. There is nothing like trying to appeal to anyone who might have ever bought any kind of metal album and failing miserably. I am truly dumber and poorer for having heard this.

This was a very hard review for me, as I couldn’t listen to more than three or four songs at a time before I had to turn it off because I was going to kill myself just so I wouldn’t have to hear it anymore. I suppose if you like dumb fun metal this might be right up your alley but to me this is the definition of awful.

Erik Thomas hates me, that’s got to be the reason he sent me this one to review.