‘Uhhh huh huh. Hey, baby. I heard you like The Black Dahlia Murder’. I have smoothly pressed “Power” on the remote on my living room 10-disc CD changer, which slides out smoothly as I casually drop the new Carron Vael album, Slay Utterly, into the not-at-all-too-large or gaudy apparatus. It closes instantly because it’s the latest technology, just as I hear the whisk of her coat being feverishly removed from the hanger by the door, and she screams, “Have you ever heard of streaming, you fucking geezer?” I tried to run after her, but sprained my ankle after the first step, confirming her “geezer” comment as accurate.

She should have stayed, though, because this new album scratches a lot of specific itches. No disrespect, but if you were only “whelmed” by TBDM’s Servitude in 2024, this might cause you to sit up straight and listen. The first track I’ll mention, “1912,” is far from worship with its clean vocals to begin and the background symphonics, but once they end, the song truly gets going with the mix of high and low vocal approaches we’ve all come to expect. Those symphonics continue through most of the song, and there’s even a bass drop around the 3:00 mark. A couple of tasty solos later, and we’re moving along.

Carrion Vael continues to employ the symphonics well, which means restraint, such as on “Black Chariot,” the final song. Their usage gives each chorus a grandiloquent feel but certainly doesn’t take away from the bludgeoning. I won’t lie and tell you their approach has a lot of tricks other bands of the same sub-genre don’t also use, but there’s far more confidence and bombast.

Along these same lines is “40 Echoes Upon the Parlor.” It begins with a breakneck-speed main riff, which transitions into grandiose clean vocals in the chorus. These vocals almost veer into what I’ve called “goblin cleans.” You’ll know what I mean immediately. It’s the best hook on the album with the symphonics in the background and double bass accompaniment.

At this point of the review and perhaps impressions from the cover art, you might be asking yourself, “Well, where’s all the barbarian cock, forehead-slapping heaviness?” It’s in “19(fucking)78.” Oh, but there’s singing here as well, with an epic chorus to open the album. There’s even a spoken word section, so we’re still not lacking in variety. This is a mission statement if I’ve ever heard one, with the blazing fast riffs, kicks, and all the other elements creating a synergy that tells you exactly what you’re about to receive for the next 42 minutes.

I have only two complaints, and they are incredibly minor. One has nothing to do with the music. My first is that even within the variety displayed, it’s the same variety in each song. If that isn’t making sense, it means the band has a lot of great tricks, but they use almost all of them in the same way, song-by-song. Once again, however, those tricks are brilliant, so they are minor.

The final complaint is more of an observation. You guys had to get that barbarian cock on the cover, didn’t you? Considering the accompanying weaponry, an intelligent barbarian would do himself well to keep that particular sword in its sheath. Regardless, Slay Utterly is a certified, stamped, sealed, and delivered banger to start 2026, and will be repeated because of it for the rest of the year.

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