Nu-Tech Cyber Sorcery

OH FUCK NO! Not again! I’m not talking about the global warming nor the upcoming nuclear holocaust, but a new atrocity committed against mankind. After suffering from a severe head trauma caused by the notorious Dust to Dust album, I was able to pick up the pieces and put myself back together and continue living a worthwhile life. However, it seems that the fun didn’t last long, since someone, who really hates me, sent me another damn ordeal to deal with. What am I? The goddamned Jesus Christ? Why, oh why do I need to suffer like this? No, it’s not the devil that keeps buggering my peace, but a new and more vile creature only known as Psionic.

Granted. These three bastards don’t resemble Dust to Dust that much musically. But something is all too familiar. Something is all too wrong… I mean, come on – even the album name gives people migraines; Nu-Tech Cyber Sorcery. What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why would you name anything – I mean anything at all – Nu-Tech Cyber Sorcery? It just doesn’t make any sense! Even less than wookies and the planet Endor! At least it shouldn’t take you too long to figure out what’s going on an album that carries such an interesting name. Yes, it’s nu’boyz meet Cradle of Filth meet industrial bands like The Kovenant and Ministry. And quite right you are, it’s horrible. To clarify this a bit, here’s a comment taken from the band’s guestbook: “I like your idea of combining keyboards with Metal”. Holy shit, Batman! Why didn’t I come up with that before? Why didn’t anyone come up with that before? That’s like… taking metal to a completely another level, beyond any boundaries and go where no one has ever gone before. Not even William Shatner himself! This puts the capital P in the word Progressive! But that’s not all, oh no – it gets even better!

In order to ‘follow’ the dark paths of sorcery and cybernetic blasphemy, the guys decided it would be a great idea to take another names in order to emphasize the concept. Heck, it worked for some black metal bands, so it must work for everyone! BRRR! WRONG! It sure as hell does not work for everybody – at least when you come up with such names as “Dr.Chaos”, “Mikeonis” and the vile, dark grandfather of blasphemy… “Mr. Sinister”! For fuck’s sake! And again – it does not stop there. Just looking at the band picture makes everyone realize that we’re standing next to a new species derived from the human race. And against Darwin’s theories life doesn’t go through evolution but devolution. These guys are the übermenschs of their new proud race known as the ‘Assclowns’ – whose sole purpose in life is to conquer the universe and to inject it with ‘teh’ suck. And the collar around Mr. Sinister’s neck surely makes me believe in such theories.

While I’m against parents beating the shit out of their children, instead of sending these guys out to summer camps, they should have been sent to an army base as living target dummies because this album really shows what’s wrong in today’s world. Music of this magnitude should be banned by international laws. No, I’m not against mixing “metal with keyboards” since there are bands that most of the time pull it off, but Psionic just plain and simply sucks at everything it does and even thinks about doing. This is hell of a lot worse than Dust to Dust, and that’s quite an achievement. Great job guys!

[Visit the band's website]
Written by Mikko K.
December 1st, 2003


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