Japanische Kampfhörspiele
Luxusvernichtung (Vierundfunfzig vertonte Kurzgedichte)

Slick, sick, catchy and hook-laden songs swollen flush with incisively razor-sharp riffs, wailing leads, crushing breakdowns and vicious vocalizations spewing acidic critiques of this mediocre and moronic zeitgeist.

53 of them.

In 22 minutes.

Thus the epic saga of “Japanese Action Hero Fighting Game” (still my favorite translation to date) continues, a journey in which the band has evolved from one man dorm room indulgence to six-headed punked-out deathgrind monster. While Christof Kather is still the driving force on the arrangements from behind the drum-kit, wielding a lyrical pen that is stabbier than the sword, it is Master, hell, Doctoratal Candidate riffologists Klaus Nicodem & Rene Hauffe who profess the most intense necroticism, descanting the classic Slayer back-catalog at ludicrous speed as bassist Bajo Bachmann rumbles, buzzes and hums along. Comprising the best dual vocal tandem in all of metal, Martin Freund plays Cookie-Monster as a hype-man to Markus Maria Hoff’s tourettes-stricken Cobra Commander, ranting, spewing and sputtering out public service announcements informing listeners that the best course of action to take if one finds themselves illegally downloading a Metallica song is to move it straight to the recycle bin – while recycling riffs from “Blackened” and “Seek and Destroy” (“Metallica”) or taunting Islamic terrorists with the superior destructive force of so-called ‘free’ trade (“Liebe Islamisten”).

Just in case perhaps you missed something, on track #54, “Alles Nochmal Auf Anfang” or in American, “Take it From the Top”, they instant replay instrumental versions of all 53 preceding songs. It is upon this replay, that you realize that regardless of how kick-ass this album is, and oh man, it is, it almost seems a little unfair at this point. Any one of the riffs in any of these 10-45 second ‘poems’ as they call them, could be the best riff of any other band in the rest of the metal or grindcore scene’s entire catalog, yet “JaKa” just throws them around like they are nothing. The riffs I meant. They throw around the riffs like they are nothing.
(Taps Nose)

[Visit the band's website]
Written by John Gnesin
June 23rd, 2009


  1. Commented by: Jobby

    I so much wanna get this band’s stuff, but it’s impossible to locate. They desperately need better distribution!!!

  2. Commented by: Cynicgods

    Hahahaha. I like your style, man. Great review.

    I have seen your name plastered somewhere. Hmmm. Have you written for some other sites?

  3. Commented by: Chevalier Mal Fet

    Hey Jobby – the label link at the top of the review is the band’s own label, you can email info@unundeux.com to order stuff. This did just come out in Germany, and I assume/hope Relapse/Willowtip/Crucial Blast somebody will carry it soon.

    Cynic Gods – Way to make me feel like Troy McClure – you might remember me from Digitalmetal, Resound – Relapse Catalog, Decibel Messageboard issue, or such films as Leper in the Backfield. Thanks for the kind words.

  4. Commented by: Rev

    Awesome, awesome review. Never really had the desire to check this band out previously, but after reading that, I’m primed to walk to the record store barefoot…even though I know they won’t have it.

  5. Commented by: shaden

    Japanische Kampfhörspiele doesnt translate to-Japanese Action Hero Fighting Game.more like “japanese battle radio plays “directly. anyways easy to find is you get it from the label.cargo records releases are easy to get,maybe some of the old splits are harder.i picked up a copy fo their dvd at the local hmv a month ago.

  6. Commented by: Chevalier Mal Fet

    There are a lot of variations on the translation as Kampfhorspiele is a made up compound word, however the one I like, admittedly a stretch is announced on a radio show sample that starts off JaKa’s tracks on their split w/Poostew so I consider it close enough to ‘canon’. Spiele could be game or play as in theater, ‘kampf’ as struggle or fight, and I guess one could say Japanese Fighting Game.

  7. Commented by: RectalSquid

    my favorite quote in your review is

    “Maria Hoff’s tourettes-stricken Cobra Commander”

    haha god damn I just imagined watching the GI JOE cartoon and picturing Cobra Commander singing to their music, it fits perfectly.

    Good review, I’ll be back again to check out your new reviews in the future.

  8. Commented by: d

    I’ve got that album and I love it.
    If you’re not a German native-speaker, you’re really out of luck. The music is still awesome, but no translation can preserve the awesomeness of the lyrics.

    just like a spineless clump of comatose biomass
    you’re lying there
    oh, you’re bleeding
    fun and action without limits
    you’re dripping everything up
    the blood, the fat, the tears
    only the pubic area gets overlayed
    25 kilograms away
    now size 38 fits”
    And this is a lousy translation.

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