I have a hoodie in my closet. The thing is nearly two decades old, and it’s probably got more thread from holes and tears I’ve sewn up than it has original stitching. It’s got a few bleach spots, it’s been stretched and worn beyond any hope of elasticity, the original designs on the front and […]

I don’t want to kickstart an existential crisis by getting too far into how old I am, but let’s just say that if I had a dime for all the different fads and trends that the world of heavy music has gone through in my lifetime, I’d have a lot more free time to impart […]

YOU EVER DONE COCAINE?! I… haven’t, actually. Never even had the desire to. Don’t misunderstand me, I’ve been no angel by any stretch of the imagination in my lifetime – I’m in no position to judge anyone of their proclivities – but when it came to uppers, I’ve never really needed the aid of any […]

I live in a VERY northern part of the US. So far north that if I threw a rock from my front porch, I’m at risk of inciting international hostilities with our French-speaking neighbors to the north. It certainly has some perks! Poutine and smoked meat are both readily available, and I have easy access […]

Sometimes it’s the dumbest things that cause you the most stress. When I was younger, dumber, and usually a whole lot drunker, choosing a playlist at a house party was so much easier. For one thing, college kids are usually more open to experiences and surroundings that they might not be all that familiar with, […]

Do you like burgers? Of course you like burgers. Burgers are so great that vegans and vegetarians have been toiling away forever to create a viable meat substitute, just so they can still have burgers. That’s one of the best parts about burgers – the spectrum of possibilities for what a burger can be is […]

You know the whole “Glow Up” thing? Basically, people on social media post a side-by-side photo comparison of themselves when they were younger, more awkward, and not quite fully developed – next to a recent photo of their more grown up, mature, and (assumedly) more attractive selves. A modern-world representation of The Ugly Duckling, if […]

Necropanther? NECROPANTHER! Hell-fucking-YES, Necropanther. Be honest, you’re only here because of that name. Don’t be ashamed! It’s sure as hell the reason they caught my attention. You see a name like that, and you pretty much HAVE to see just what the hell that’s all about. It’s really a bold, but risky strategy. Yes, the […]