Author Archive

Marasmus – Necrotic Overlord

Here’s some tech death from the best heavy metal label in existence, Transcending Obscurity. If you don’t believe my words, you can always check my year end list where I mentioned this. Once again, though, that’s in my words, so if you don’t believe it here, you won’t there. Anyway… Here’s some new tech death […]

Hulder – Godslastering: Hymns of a Forlorn Peasantry

Hulder? I don’t even know her… Now that I have that joke out of the way and you’re recovering from squirting vodka through your nose (burns, doesn’t it), let’s talk about BM. USBM, to be specific. I purchased and somewhat recently finished reading Decibel’s USBM book. To my dismay, the book itself was not about […]

Bloody Hammers-Songs of Unspeakable Terror

“What’s up with that fart box guitar tone?” This is the response I received from one of my best friends when I sent him the promo video for the Bloody Hammers song “What’s Haunting You.” He is a producer, engineer, musician, sometimes front of house for a large metal band, and an overall audiophile. His […]

Crawl – 9 Mile Square    

Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way immediately. The man behind Crawl Below goes by the surname of Charlie Sad Eyes. Now, if you’re finished being pretentious and judging a book by its cover, go ahead and push up those black framed glasses. There’s work to do. By work, I mean reviewing, […]

Tribulation – Where the Gloom Becomes Sound  

When it comes to Tribulation, you already know where you stand. I’m sure this will be in a certain print publication’s top albums of the year, whether or not it is deserving. For me, their peak was their debut album, The Horror. Yeah, I’m going to be that guy. So, that brings us to their […]

Werewolves – What a Time to Be Alive

What a Time to Be Alive, indeed, Werewolves. If you missed last year’s  The Dead Are Screaming from these guys, you’re a damned fool and no friend of mine. If you had told me before this promo dropped in my hands (figuratively, of course) that we would see another album from these Australians so soon, […]

Repaid in Blood – Reflective Duality

Yo, bro, do you like deathcore? Well, bro, do you, bro? I don’t know why I decided to start this review in such a way, but I figured I would just let you, dear reader and disciple, know what you’re getting into immediately. So, if you want to back out, I get it… but not […]

Pulchra Morte – Ex Rosa Ceremonia

There are a lot of hard-working guys (and girls) in metal (it’s not like one band pays the bills… or 10 for that matter). I submit to you Adam Clemans as one of them. He does vocals for more bands than I can remember off the top of my head: Skeletonwitch, Wolvhammer, Noose Rot, Shaidar […]

White Magician – Dealers of Divinity

I like tradition in my metal, just like everything else. In my shaving (dry shave only), my food (well done steak with ketchup only, please), and of course sex (missionary only-no eye contact ever, for reproduction purposes only). While none of that’s true, it’s also not true when it comes to my metal. However, I […]

Fuming Mouth – Beyond the Tomb EP

Like a dildo to the face when entering a Christian bookstore, last year’s The Grand Descent took me by surprise. I happened to pick it up on a whim, expecting something much different than what that cover art would suggest. I’m glad I did… and I’m glad they have a new release this year. Unfortunately […]

Undeath – Lesions Of A Different Kind

“That was filthier than expected” is not a phrase often uttered as a compliment. Unless, of course we’re talking about Pittsburgh Nellie (a Welsh whore who can do things with her one good arm that would make you forget that thing on her neck). It is, however, frequently a compliment when it comes to metal. […]

Six Foot Six – End of All

Is Kristoffer Göbel really tall? This is the second full length from his project called Six Foot Six and I am going to assume it is some sort of height reference. Perhaps he and I can tour sometime with my project the Five Foot Six Project (not a thing). This is the second album from […]

Depravity – Grand Malevolence

I’ve been a fan of this Australian band’s, ummm, depravity, since they released their full-length debut, Evil Upheaval back in 2018. They brought the brutality along with meaty riffs, pounding drums, and those deep death metal vocals. This style of brutal death metal doesn’t usually hit me, but when it does, it hits really hard. […]

Mors Principium Est – Seven

Galloping guitars galore! If you’re a fan of Mors Principium Est (and alliteration), get those sweet buns in here and check out their new album. It’s exactly what you expect, but in some cases, like with pizza, that’s not a bad thing. If you didn’t know, Mors Principium Est deal in death. Melodic death, to […]

Carnation – Where Death Lies

I pose, that instead of purchasing carnations for your love on Valentine’s Day, Christmas, or whatever dumb bullshit humanoids in love celebrate, instead perhaps purchase Carnation. Give your love the gift that keeps on giving. The gift of blistering death metal. We last heard Belgian death metallers Carnation when they released a banger of Florida-style […]

Décembre Noir – The Renaissance of Hope

If one had asked me last year; “Hey, you stupid, fat piece of shit, who is your favorite death doom band,” I would have said “Insomnium…?” With a question mark at the end, asking almost incredulously. The reason behind that is I had very little experience. If you’ve followed my reviews, you’ll know death doom […]

Atrae Bilis – Divinihility EP

Atrae Bilis is promoted as technical death metal. Canadian technical death metal, to be specific. I didn’t know this, or at least had never thought about it before, but with that genre tag, they’re in great company. Gorguts, Cryptopsy, and more recently, Archspire fit that bill. As just mentioned, great company, even if I don’t […]

Devil’s Trade, The – The Call of the Iron Peak

When I decided to pick up the new album (his second overall) from The Devil’s Trade, I was looking for a bit of a change of pace. You know, the old “listening to nothing but heavy music” into which we metal reviewers sometimes find ourselves. It’s often a good idea to take a step back […]

Pallbearer- Forgotten Days

Ohhhhhhhh, yessssss! The new Paul Bearer record. Wait, that’s not right. Pallbearer. There it is. There’s no Undertaker here. Although, this album may make you sit up like him when you hear it for the first time. So, this is another mainstream metal release that probably has received glowing reviews in Pitchfork as well as […]

Undead – Existential Horror LP

 I’m not sure how many bands are called Undead, but what I do know is that you’ll receive 46 entries if you search for it on Metal Archives. To be fair, only 14 of those are just called Undead. The others just include the phrase in their name. Those are just the ones listed, though. […]

Rancid Taint Discharge – Taste The Love

The introduction for an album by a band called Rancid Taint Discharge writes itself, but I’m an incredibly serious reviewer. I don’t have time for such childish musings (pushes up glasses). What you’re going to get here is the well-read, researched point of a view of a wise, learned man. So, let’s get right into […]

Ocean, The – Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic I Cenozoic

 The Ocean and I share a lot in common; It’s vast, salty, and sailors consistently die in it (what?). As for the band, the same rings true; They’re progressive, comprised entirely of Germans, and good for a release every couple of years (again, what). Since we share so much in common, it only seems fair […]

Inferi – Of Sunless Realms EP

In the before times, earlier this year, I made it out to two shows. One of those was the Shadow of Intent tour which featured Signs of the Swarm, Brand of Sacrifice, and today’s review subject, Inferi. It was the first date of that tour at a really bad ass venue to which I had […]

Dethlehem – Maelstrom of the Emerald Dragon (Story Mode)

“Hey, Farva! What’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?” “You mean ‘Shenanigans?!’ You guys are talking about ‘Shenanigans,’ right?” “Shenanigans?” “Tomfoolery?” “Fuckery?” All of these could apply in some circumstances to Dethlehem’s latest slab of fantasy, D&D inspired metal, which is called […]

Orbit Culture – Nija

Their new album, Nija, is my introduction to Orbit Culture. Before this, if I had been asked about them, I would have assumed they were a cult-like society dedicated to American astronaut John Glenn. They’re Swedish, so while that’s unlikely, I haven’t personally asked them. Not only am I (probably) incorrect regarding their origin story, […]