Author Archive

Undead – Existential Horror LP

 I’m not sure how many bands are called Undead, but what I do know is that you’ll receive 46 entries if you search for it on Metal Archives. To be fair, only 14 of those are just called Undead. The others just include the phrase in their name. Those are just the ones listed, though. […]

Rancid Taint Discharge – Taste The Love

The introduction for an album by a band called Rancid Taint Discharge writes itself, but I’m an incredibly serious reviewer. I don’t have time for such childish musings (pushes up glasses). What you’re going to get here is the well-read, researched point of a view of a wise, learned man. So, let’s get right into […]

Ocean, The – Phanerozoic II: Mesozoic I Cenozoic

 The Ocean and I share a lot in common; It’s vast, salty, and sailors consistently die in it (what?). As for the band, the same rings true; They’re progressive, comprised entirely of Germans, and good for a release every couple of years (again, what). Since we share so much in common, it only seems fair […]

Inferi – Of Sunless Realms EP

In the before times, earlier this year, I made it out to two shows. One of those was the Shadow of Intent tour which featured Signs of the Swarm, Brand of Sacrifice, and today’s review subject, Inferi. It was the first date of that tour at a really bad ass venue to which I had […]

Dethlehem – Maelstrom of the Emerald Dragon (Story Mode)

“Hey, Farva! What’s the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?” “You mean ‘Shenanigans?!’ You guys are talking about ‘Shenanigans,’ right?” “Shenanigans?” “Tomfoolery?” “Fuckery?” All of these could apply in some circumstances to Dethlehem’s latest slab of fantasy, D&D inspired metal, which is called […]

Orbit Culture – Nija

Their new album, Nija, is my introduction to Orbit Culture. Before this, if I had been asked about them, I would have assumed they were a cult-like society dedicated to American astronaut John Glenn. They’re Swedish, so while that’s unlikely, I haven’t personally asked them. Not only am I (probably) incorrect regarding their origin story, […]

Coexistence – Collateral Dimension

In my introduction to Coexistence, I figured I would talk about my introduction to Coexistence. Get it? I first found out about this band when their video for the track “Collateral Dimension,” also the title track of their debut album, randomly played on YouTube. I kind of knew what to expect when I saw the […]

Six Feet Under – Nightmares of the Decomposed

According to the press release, this is full length number 17 for Smokey McPots (Chris Barnes). Apparently, there are 4 Graveyard Classics albums. Why? Anyway, I have 14 of those albums according to my iTunes library. I hold their debut Haunted in very high esteem, but the first real death metal record I ever heard […]

Ancst – Summits of Despondency

Ancst, which is German for “angst (you probably knew that, smarty pants),” describe themselves as “blackened death metal,” “metallic hardcore fusion,” as well as “blackened hardcore.” Honestly, all of these descriptions absolutely nail it. I have a little experience with these dudes (well, dude now), listening to and enjoy one of their previous albums Ghosts […]

Black Crown Initiate – Violent Portraits of Doomed Escape

To say I am a fan of Black Crown Initiate would probably be an understatement. They were originally scheduled to play a small craft beer festival I attended but had to back out. They were replaced by the mighty Byzantine, so no big deal. Regardless, I am a big fan of their previous full lengths […]

Enslaved – Utgard

At this point, Enslaved can do pretty much whatever they want and need no introduction. If you don’t subscribe to that theory, I will fight you. Naked (I do all of my fighting in the nude exclusively). They’re no longer what one would necessarily consider black metal, although they have those influences creep up. At […]

Fires in the Distance – Echoes from Deep November

Fires in the Distance just a few short years ago could have been a metaphor for the United States. Everything was going to burn, but it not yet. I doubt that was the inspiration behind the band’s moniker, but if it was and they decided to change it today, might I recommend the more appropriate […]

Ars Magna Umbrae – Apotheosis

Ars Magna Umbrae’s previous album, Lunar Ascension, was a good, but not great representation of post black metal. One standout is that the cover looked like a duck-billed platypus. If you take one piece of information from this review, let that be it. You can’t unsee it. Once you’ve stopped laughing, you need to wipe […]

Buried Realm – Embodiment of the Divine

What would you get if you placed Hypocrisy, Soilwork, and Children of Bodom in a blender? Well, two things: Several murder charges and a smoothie of which Jeffrey Dahmer would be envious. If you just wanted to mix their musical styles instead of all the people, you may have something similar to Buried Realm. For […]

Hath – Hive EP (Reissue)

If you didn’t enjoy 2019’s Of Rot and Ruin by Hath, I don’t know what to tell you. Despite the fact that I don’t much care for “Star Wars” and I thought the band was called “Hoth” in an homage, I still gave it a listen. When I realized my mistake, I was glad to […]

Judicator – Let There Be Nothing

Power metal. I don’t think there’s a single metalhead I have met who doesn’t have a soft spot for it. When speaking with other metalheads, there are many favorites who come to mind; Helloween, Blind Guardian, Sabaton, Manowar, Iced Earth, and, hell, even Judas Priest. One’s favorite or favorites sometimes has to do with when […]

Mystras – Castles Conquered and Reclaimed

One of my best and oldest friends is a former metal and rock producer as well as FOH for a prominent metal band. He once told me: “With how cheap and easy it is to make a clear recording now, why would anyone settle for less?” That’s verbatim, of course. He’s not a fan of […]

Lantern – Dimensions

Before starting this review, I was listening to/reviewing the reissue of Winter’s 1990 masterpiece Into Darkness. Whether directly or not, I can tell they had an impact on Lantern and their new album Dimensions. I bought into the hype of Lantern’s previously release, but it overall left me with a cold feeling. Not that cold, […]

Inexurom – Moonlit Navigation

When it comes to Inexorum, I purchased Lore of the Lakes without hearing a single note, simply based off the description and the high praise of critics. While I did enjoy the album, I was kept from thoroughly enjoying it for one reason: electronic drums. In a lot of instances, they’re fine, barely noticeable, and […]

Post Mortal Possession – Catacombs of Bedlam

I always like to support the local scene, which is more important than ever until somehow the world decides to unfuck itself. For me, there is a “local” scene just a few minutes away, but I really mean Pittsburgh, which is obviously larger and within an hour. Supporting this local scene is why I attended […]

Falconer – From A Dying Ember

Falconer holds a special place in my heart. Their 2003 album The Sceptre of Deception is one of my favorite power metal albums of all time. I was quick to find out, however, that this was not the definitive lineup of the band. At this time, they were operating with vocalist Kristoffer Gobel, with whom […]

Carach Angren – Franckensteina Strataemontanus

I have a lot of inappropriate shirts. Perhaps my favorite is my Carach Angren “You came to the wrong forest, mother fucker.” It’s not my Satanic Warmaster shirt where someone is getting sawed in half through the genital region, which I once accidentally wore (or so I told my girlfriend at the time) to the […]

Lamb of God – Lamb of God

I’ll make a full confession so you know where I stand. I am a Lamb of God fanboy. I have the Wrath era logo tattooed on me in what was, at the time, the most painful place I had yet to receive a tattoo (I will not confirm or deny if it was my b-hole). […]

Sorcerer – Lamenting of the Innocent

Epic doom isn’t really my thing. Well, it never used to be. Sure, one of my favorite vocalists of all time is Ronnie James Dio. I have no children, so the closest I have is my black cat and his name is Dio, so that’s the best tribute I can give. Side note: I picked […]

Hail Spirit Noir – Eden In Reverse

All hail Hail Spirit Noir who hail from Greece. These gentlemen caught my ears and eyes when they released Oi Strigoi all the way back in the “before times” in 2014. I was, and remain a big fan of that album, so I was excited when they released Mayhem in Blue in 2016. While I […]