I have an ex-girlfriend who had a favorite phrase of “I can do it myself” when I would try to help her. She was half joking. Maybe. Cut to us in my kitchen at the time, this phrase came about when I offered to help her with grabbing her drink while cooking, it fell on […]

As someone who used to watch Monster Hunters, is vaguely interested in cryptozoology, and had to explain to his father that a Discovery Channel documentary spoof including a CGI Bigfoot wasn’t a documentary, nor proof of the existence of Bigfoot, I’m here for Bigfoot-themed death metal. I am also here for unnecessary run-on sentences. Having […]

Around the esteemed Teeth of the Divine halls, unlike a lot of metal websites full of elitists, we like deathcore. The proof of this would be the reviews from Aethereus, Devils of Loudon, Shadow of Intent, Mines of Moria, Signs Of The Swarm, Worm Shepherd, Fit For an Autopsy,  and The Last Ten Seconds of […]

One of the best perks of writing for Teeth of the Divine for a couple years now is that bands I’ve previously reviewed, such as Mountaineer, are releasing new material. Their last effort, Bloodletting, scored high marks from me, but their brand of post metal overall has not done much for me since then. On […]

Pros of the band Hath: Pretty much everything. Cons: They make me think of Hoth, which makes me think of Star Wars… and unlike many of my peers, I do not care for Star Wars. There. I said it. With all of that out of the way, here’s Hath’s heavily anticipated All That Was Promised. […]

“This is great, but maybe a little too long” is a phrase that comes to mind when describing Allegaeon’s new album Damnum. Not when it comes to describing my penis, though. Kind of the opposite. That’s not why we’re here. If you are, though… Call me. I’ll leave my phone number coded in this review, […]

2022, comin’ in HAWT. You know it’s true because of the way I spelled it. I already have 3-5 albums which are sure year end contenders and I’m writing this sentence on the last day of January. I’m not one to complain about an embarrassingly high amount of excellent metal, but it’s already been difficult […]

I do not need music to help me achieve a depressed state, Hangman’s Chair, okay? I do very well with that as my default, thank you very much. However, if you’re unlike me (for your own sake, let’s hope), maybe you just need that nudge or like to feel miserable sometimes. If so, A Loner, […]

Listen, if you guys want me to stop reviewing material from Transcending Obscurity Records, you’re going to have to tell them to calm it down with the excellent new releases… Don’t, though. That brings us to the new, excellent album from a band with an intriguing name, The Last of Lucy. I didn’t like it […]

Deathcore is having another moment. This new wave is being led by such heavyweights from last year such as Worm Shepherd, Osiah, Mental Cruelty, Signs of the Swarm, and Bound in Fear, and looks to be off to a good start with new Worm Shepherd and Shadow of Intent due out in January along with […]

It’s a shame when a band, especially one so far into their career, doesn’t know who or what they want to be. With a discography in the range of good to great, unfortunately it feels like this is where we find deathcore veterans Fit For An Autopsy. I’ll explain… While the opening track, which is […]

Potentially the greatest perk of writing for a metal site (if you call what I do writing) is getting to connect with underground artists such as Crawl Below’s Charlie Sad Eyes. Not long after his previous album and personal year-end lister, 9 Mile Square was released, he mentioned to me that the next Crawl Below […]

One could say, when it comes to black metal, I have a mature palate. By that, I mean I’ve tasted a lot of it. Literally and figuratively. I’ve listened to a lot, but also took a bite out of a Darkthrone cd. It did not cure my Transilvanian Hunger. I’m a fan of bands within […]

After several demos, splits, and one full length album, the incredible Desolate Landscape from 2017, Phrenelith has finally returned to what seems like no fanfare. If we didn’t dig our way through the figurative promo bin, this may have been missed altogether. However, if there’s one task at which I am very accomplished, it’s scraping […]

Czechia’s Cutterred Flesh are a new band on my radar, thanks to Transcending Obscurity. This is their fifth full length and the first time I’ve heard them. They’re classified as brutal death metal, and that fits. If you’re on board with Aborted or Benighted, this is certainly going to be right up your alley. There […]

Eternity’s End contains Christian Munzner, Hannes Grossman, and Linus Klausenitzer in its ranks. Before assuming this is a killer technical death metal band, let me inform you that it’s not. They are, however, described as “technical power metal,” so take that for what it is. Most power metal bands have a tech aspect with their […]

The name Churchburn probably brings to mind the 90s black metal scene, but that’s not what you’re getting here, just to get it out of the way. Dave Suzuki of Vital Remains is the main man here, along with members and former members of other prominent acts such as Grief and Howl. Howlever (see what […]

With helpful ghost bathing tips in mind, here is Ghost Bath with their fourth overall full length, Self Loather. I’ve never quite understood the hate these guys seem to get. While I never fell in love with them, I do own their last two albums and enjoyed them despite some minor quibbles. Luckily, they decided […]

Recently, in between beatings for our insolence in the TOTD break room, we had a very brief conversation regarding blackened deathcore vs blackened metalcore. A small distinction, to be sure, but I didn’t have time to think about it before our fearless leader made us fearful, told us to finish up our daily rations of […]

Heads for the Dead are a great band and one of my favorite old school death metal bands from the last several years. If you don’t believe me, check out Frank’s review for their latest full length, Into The Red where I am name dropped as being a fan. I really enjoy their old school […]

If I had a 2020 “do over” for my top albums of the year, I can confidently say Witnesses’ Doom II would be on it. Not only on it, but easily in the top five. Not number 1, as I picked Unleash The Archers’ Abyss and will stand firmly by it as it’s a god […]

“Breathe in through your nose and out through your vagina.” This is the breathing process. At least that’s what I told a former friend who was getting a particular painful wrist tattoo. There’s also a band with the name The Breathing Process, and they may beg to differ. MAY. Anyway, I’ve never heard these blackened […]

I know, I know. Jinjer. Despite their hype and relative fame based on the seemingly hundreds of YouTube “reaction” videos, they’re still worth a listen. Or several. They’re more deserving of mainstream metal acclaim than a lot the bands who receive it. They write great, memorable songs, and have one of the most talented and […]

My top 3 most anticipated albums of 2021 were Gojira, Wolf King, and Rivers of Nihil. I may also be forgetting some. However, Gojira was massively disappointing, Wolf King exceeded my expectations, and Rivers of Nihil probably have no chance of a reaching the heights I believe this band can achieve. So, it’s already clear […]

Let me start out by saying I’ve rewritten this intro and parts of the subsequent review 3 times now. That’s what happens when I have way too much time with an album and question the articulation of my thoughts. I’m always trying to write a funny, witty, creative, suitably childish intro, and sometimes when I […]