There are lots of men and women out there in the world whose sexual proclivities lie on the more, let’s say “extreme” side of things. In particular, there are people all around the world who fantasize about, if not actively seek out sexual partners (singular, or many at once!) who will oblige their innate craving […]

OK so we’ve got, like, 3 months left of 2022? So who knows what can happen between now and then, but whatever. I’m calling it. Blood Empire is the most fun you’re gonna get out of just 4 songs this year. This thing is a goddamn blast. I need more ASAP. Of course, anyone who’s […]

I’m just gonna go ahead and set all my clocks back by like, I dunno, 20 or 25 years? Etsy has LOTS of Princess Diana calendars from 1998 available, so I’m well covered there. I hear JNCO jeans are sorta a thing again? So much denim. The reason for all this turn-of-the-21st-century behavior? MELODEATH IS […]

I dunno about you, but I love the defiant underdog. There’s just something super compelling about someone or something staring in the face of inevitable defeat and devastation, and flipping it the double-birds because “go fuck yourself that’s why.” I admire the hell out of that spirit. To that end, one of history’s most chronicled […]

This is probably going to sound really stupid, which is something I’m not exactly unaccustomed to doing so… Oh well. It’s easy to forget sometimes that our favorite bands and musicians are, well, artists! In every sense of the word. They create, the evolve, they strive to grow and follow their artistic journeys and trust […]

Heading into 2022, I had no idea that this was going to wind up being my most heavily anticipated album of the year. Granted, I’d have to have been some kind of all-seeing mage or wizard or whatever, because, until the first day of this year, nobody knew Blackbraid even existed (ok, before someone writes […]

My friends, we are inching ever-closer to that most wonderful time of year again when you can actually go outside and, like, EXIST without instantly bursting into flames. When the air is crisp and everything doesn’t smell like either hot piss or cooked manure. The modern human is not made to endure summer. Summer arrives […]

At the risk of coming off a little too right-wing, conservative lunatic – I’m getting goddamn sick of the world we live in today. I’ve had it! Of course, there’s a delicate balance of “the way things used to be” and progression that needs to be struck, right? Civil rights, LGBTQ+ rights, Women’s rights – […]

OK so, Necro Weasel. Sounds kinda silly, right? Like the kind of thing you don’t have to think real hard about or take too seriously. If you’re like me, you’re picturing a furry little dude wearing Abbath-like corpsepaint running around in the woods with a little plastic axe. SO PRECIOUS. Good, clean, ridiculous fun. NOPE. […]

At this point, shitting on a new In Flames record is a metalhead pastime on par with making fun of James Hetfield’s gratuitous “YEEEEAAH”-ing or screaming “SLAYERRRRRRRRRR” at ridiculous and nonsensical moments. Depending on when you decided that one of metal’s most influential and prolific acts jumped the shark, we’re talking actual decades since they’ve […]

What do you call Witchery at this point in their career? A super group? A collective, ever-evolving side project (aside from guitarists Patrick Jensen and Rickard Rimfalt, the last two remaining original members)? What was once basically a catch-all side gig for former members of Seance along with legendary bassist Sharlee D’Angelo (Mercyful Fate, Arch […]

Alright. Well. I’m not gonna get too specific, but I’ll tell you that outside of Teeth of the Divine, I don’t live a terribly exciting or spectacular life. I’m not “living my dream” or working some self-made passion project for a living. This isn’t a complaint, I have a steady job that I’m grateful for, […]

Behind the scenes here at Teeth of the Divine, we’ve often discussed what the next chapter of Deathcore is going to look like. Thanks to Lorna Shore‘s insane (and well-deserved) popularity, we all know that the whole Blackened/Symphonic Deathcore thing being the latest style du jour that everyone and their brothers, parents, cousins, and dogs seem […]

It’s Friday night. Most of your friends or colleagues are getting ready to head out on the town and grab a few drinks, listen to some awful cover band for a $10 cover charge, hook up with a random stranger in a bathroom stall while railing a line or two off the back of a […]

For metal mastermind Andy Marshall, Saor has been a means of immersing listeners in his beloved Scottish history and heritage through a sprawling, intoxicating mix of incredibly atmospheric black and folk metal, dubbed colloquially by Marshall himself as “Caledonian Metal.” For all intents and purposes, while each of his previous albums certainly had some characteristics […]

A couple years back, I had the great pleasure of reviewing Intoxicated’s long-awaited comeback (whether or not you knew it) EP, Walled. I’ll let you go back and re-read that review for the very long, complicated, but VERY interesting back story of the band’s history dating all the way back to 1990, but suffice to […]

OK, so look. I’ve made my love for the whole old school Blackened Thrash thing very well-apparent to this point. Give me a group of dudes wailing away on some nasty riffs, tortured vocals about demons and Satan and shit, package it up with some more raw, stripped-down production, and you’ve basically got me hook, […]

As someone who has never been about taking any form of metal too seriously, Sacred Son’s Dane Cross has become somewhat of a folk hero of mine. As curmudgeonly as the elite Black Metal crowd can be, it’s still pretty dang impressive just how much hate Cross has stirred up for just living his life. […]

For reasons I can’t quite begin to understand, the American Midwest has become a veritable hotbed for super evil, no-holds-barred, Satan-loving metal for metal’s sake. Something about all those hotdishes and passive-aggressive politeness come together to manifest the likes of NunSlaughter and Midnite and Nachtmystium and scores of other bands dedicated to high-octane, heretical carnage. […]

The whole idea behind bands releasing splits is, generally, a fairly straightforward business decision. Two or more bands come together to share production and distribution costs, and provide one-another with a platform to get more exposure through all involved parties’ established fanbases. The bands, the fans, everybody wins. That said, it feels like the potential […]

Every day it seems, the world further blurs the line between what’s considered crackpot conspiracy, and accepted reality. The notion that some secret, Satanic society of ultra-powerful lizard oligarchs are the true masters and gatekeepers of the Earth’s wealth and resources seems, to many, like an absolute truth. I don’t personally subscribe to this particular […]

We’re heartbroken to hear about the passing of Trevor Strnad. Our hearts go out to his friends, family, band mates, and a generation of metalheads around the world whom he inspired through his work. Though he is gone far too soon, his legacy will live on forever through his music, and the impact he left […]

For a couple years now, I’ve been praising the French for their rise to prominence in the Traditional Heavy Metal scene. It’s still not necessarily a numbers game, but the quality in the limited product is undeniable. Obviously, much of this is owed the genre’s continued growth in popularity, but bands like Herzel and Tentation […]

I dunno about you, but I love to make a meal out of an appetizer. And I don’t mean like a rich, white housewife going to a restaurant and ordering a side salad as their meal so they can fit into that bikini the 20 year old pool boy loves to see you in – […]

All too often in life, things just refuse to be simple. Take this album from Necrom for example: On the surface, this should be a slam dunk of an release to promote.  Objectively speaking, I’ll just get to the point – All Paths Are Left Here… is one of the best examples of Old School […]